Victoria Sade'

1/19/08 MLK DAY!

2009-01-20T07:24:00.001-08:00

RESULT OF BANTU KNOT OUTS

1/19/09 MLK DAY!

2009-01-20T07:24:00.000-08:00

2008-09-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

TRANSITIONAING TO ALL NATURAL/ OLD ANNIVERSARY PICS/ ME TODAY

2008-09-22T20:50:00.000-07:00

Okay so I haven't updated this thing in quite a while...for one me and David hit our 1 month anniversary actually we're appraoching 2 months quickly! Here are some photos of the day...

Also I'm going natural...

Gotta go to BED! Goodnight will update later!

"You lookin to fill out an application?"

2008-08-29T20:51:00.000-07:00

Hope this doesn't give myself away too much for my online stalkers, but today I was looking for a job, and I saw an ad in the paper for this telemarketing job on Little Road. So David's like..."Little Road? You don't want to work on Little Road. There's gonna be like one cubicle in a little building...." He was just doggin this job on Little Road. So we get there and this place is in a shopping center. Nothing too out of the ordinary. By this time, the skies start opening up and it starts to sprinkle. So we park and walk in. First thing I notice is...this cigarette smoke stench. I look around and there's like seven computers against the wall. These computers are so outdated it was like something out of a 90's movie. The youngest person there was...well myself and David. Our first pleasant encounter was with Molly Sue. She had her legs spread out and looked up at the two of us, scratched her brown half maintained hair and asked, "You lookin to fill out an application?" All the while chewing gum. I looked at David and replied, "Yeah."

She directed us to the manager, the head honcho-three steps away from us at her "desk". I guess she was "at lunch" cuz she sho' was grubbin on that chicken alfrado. So..we sit at this "table" and I...begin to fill out this application. David's like..."How much do they pay an hour?"..."You know, we better...go before it starts rainin real ...is that lightning? We better go..." I thought to myself...boyfriend's are GREAT. I turn and ask, "Ma'am, can I take this home and bring it back?" She let a "You sure can," slip between her lips in between bites...since we was interrupting her lunch and all.

I about died laughing when I got to the parking lot.

Either you're in, or you're out

2008-08-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

I mean don't say you IN and only have yo left foot in while yo other foot on the curb. Either you wit it or you not! So..you wit it? Aight then, let's do this!

Okay, okay, I surrender to the magnetic force that so strongly brings two kindred hearts together. I SURRENDER! Yeah he got me. Could it be how we laugh uncontrollably like two third graders after a sugar splurge. He passed the note to her during class while the teacher wasn't lookin and guess what...she circled YES! OOOHHH! Now they sittin in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Lemme be an adult and just say...I like him.

I know, I know...what you're thinking. Ms. Independent-don't-need-a-man-to-be-happy- knows-how-to-handle-hers-in-the-worst-way is... smitten? Y'all heard it first. Yo, lemme just say he's the moonlight to my sunshine, and together we make a perfect day. He compliments me. And yes, we laugh uncontrollably together! Icing on the cake. :) But like any other human relationship, there are flaws. But love conquers ALL right? And when I left those three words on his voicemail...I truly meant it. Wow. That shouldn't scare me. Jill Scott said it best.

"I can floss my own bling bling
Write the the words to the songs I sing
I can even raise the child we'll make
Make sure he's loved and knows what God gave us
I can teach him how to walk and stand
But I need you to help him be a man"

Together we make one. I hate to get all mushy over a man, but he is truly that... a MAN, and he is my man. So let the valleys come.

"You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you"

Oh and about that title. Either you're in or you're out. I'm in.

Randy Pausch & Getting Fired From a Great Job

2008-07-30T13:01:00.000-07:00

Are you the type of person who, when things are going great, you think in the back of your head "Okay, life is good, but for how long?" I am. And ever since I left UNT, started doing better at school and was getting better grades at school, life was flowing freely, with hardly any bends, breaks, or rough patches. When times did start to feel like they're falling a part it seemed like it would fix itself on its own. Life was wonderful. Until today.

Today started out like any other day. I woke up (with resistance), got ready for school, jumped in my car and drove to school. I took my Spanish test, went to my physical education class, worked out, and felt better than ever. I got home, took a shower, played with my dog, ate some food and watched a little bit of that Primetime Special about Randy Pausch. It was inspirational, he had my inclined ear-but now its time to get up and go to work. I hopped in my car, five minutes later, I was at work. 20 minutes later, I ran out of those doors in tears, and drove away. Today was the day I got fired from my first really good job.

It was a complete shock. My train derailed. Now its my turn to deal with my disaster. I prayed to God and through tears, I managed a Thank you. Because I know that when you can't thank God in your mountain tops as well as the valley's your faith shows its true colors. I was crying because it stung. It hurt so bad. My first initial thoughts are, will I ever succeed? I'm a failure. Is there anything I'm truly good that's valuable? Where is my life going? Then my second is, how am I going to tell my parents? What will they think or say? Will they yell at me? I just said, "God, please give me strength."

All I can do is apologize to my ex boss and thank her for the time they did let me have there. Now I'm looking ahead. And that's where I'm at now. At this crossroads. Which brings me to Randy Pausch. If he can be positive about his death sentence,, I can be positive about losing my job, and use this as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block. I cannot lament over this, all I can do is try to find something better. And believe me, there's always better around the corner!

2008-07-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

2008-06-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

It's summer! I have to catch y'all/ myself up on my life. Its pretty much lack luster. At work, my boss asked the wretched question, "are you dating anyone?" Normally, on any other day but this, my voice would sound to a petite, "no." But today, it goes, "NOOOO, and it saddens me!" Wow Victoria. You're a sad excuse of a woman! Let's not be TOO obvious! Keep it together girl! No one's watching, just relax. Now that I look on with relenquished control over what I said and how I said it, I realized-hell I'm LONELY. I ain't had a crush in decades. Well. That's a lie. I ultimately will indeed confess, I had a crush on this guy, the artsy type, but he wasn't my type. He lit up my phone, what more could I ask for? LOL. that was weeks ago, and now I look at my phone with disdain. Like why did I ever give that boy my free text messages?

But any way, back at work, the reason she asked me that was because a girl brought in chicken express today. And chicken express reminds me of people. (let's not be specific lol) So I said, "Chicken express reminds me of Denton." Boss says, "OOHH yeah, you went to UNT for a year." Me in the background all nostalgic says, "..it reminds me of this guy..." Boss: "ARE you dating anyone?" Me: "NOOOO, and it saddens me!"

I'm learning a lot about myself though while I'm having alone time, me time. 1.) I like to take baths while listening to Phil Collins. 2.) I'm very sporadic and burst out in dances 3) I LOVE the king of queens 4) I crack myself up 5.) I'm artistic in nature 6.) I'm falling in love with God..Jesus..the Holy One 7.) I have a fixation with mirrors, light and reflections....and seven completes that list.

So I watched the movie Frida yesterday for the first time. The lady at Blockbuster was like "How old are you?" I am getting SO tired of people asking me that. Anyways about the movie. There was a lot of sex. Even lesbian...ish groping? It was very um artistic though. And Selma Hayek has an amazing stomach (no homo). Overall the movie was...eyebrow raising to say the least. I think my favorite scene was when her baby didn't make it and she said, "my baby came out in pieces! I want to see him! Where is my baby!" Ok that was beautiful. Though grotesque and disturbing, beautiful. That is my only fear. That I won't have children. I feel like I must needs have babies! It's in my SOUL. lol.

Justin Nozuka

2008-06-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

I think i'm in love. if only for a split second. his music is pure. and addicting. infectious. like good chocolate. he's very pure. i dare to say raw for the rough connotation it has; this he is not. :)

http://www.myspace.com/justinnozuka

New Poetry

2008-05-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

I wrote these last night:

Self Indulgence

i'm in a silly mood
i'm becoming glued
to the fruits of life
and long to be someone's wife
one day, but at the moment
i'm in a place where i need space

like a child i need to grow
so i can become compatible
with someone else's soul

i apologize if i may have been a little new
but like green leaves i barely knew what to do
wasn't going to fall off the limb
was merely waiving freely in the wind

so hush, let's not discuss
how on the cusp i was of distrust
did i tell you how much i adored you?
because this i really did do, it's true, but
my fear factor soon mapped
our blooming but dismal place in time

in the atmosphere now i place those unedited fears
my audit shows that i owe some people some apologies
trust that there is an absence of apathy to your tragedy
and if you know who i am you know i never meant to harm a thing

how alarming it was when i first heard i was selfish
be it as it may this may come as a shock, but for right now
i am a little self indulging
please don't hold it against me and bring patience with you
i'll make it up to you later, not now but soon

Road Trip

Can't wait for this road trip
To send me to God given bliss
I been needin a time where
i can unwind, break free from mediocrity
a high dose of scenery
should do the trick

cuz i been sick of the every day grind
tryin to constrain me into solid black lines
like jail bars they caged me into
miss vee who eats sleeps and bleeps
insanities cuz she's shaken by conformation
i just want to be taken aback
cuz my bedroom window lacks
the diverse color this world has to offer

and now i'm off to undress my distress
and caress my inner recesses into-life
immerse my soul into the beauties untold
oh what a story that will be, after miles trod
i'll sit in the hotel lobby and nod, thinkin
i love this hobby, travelin, rattlin my tongue
to the earth's beat

heavy are the sheets of majesty
thrown upon me on this evacuation form occupation
a vacation i've been craving
my appetite has hastened
now my lips are ready to devour the full course

i'm gonna sit, stare and watch God tell his story
through interstate highways of glory
mountainous regions afford me the opportunity
to explore seas; like big boat, i'll lfoat
on this water freshly pouring over my
dry, uninhabited life of sweet by and by

unlocking the front door
to another world's floor.
and my patience is running thin
only one more college exam
then the excitement will finally begin!

Girl in Hell

hot hot heat
they reached fiery infernos
sweat dripped, pouring from skin
a dilapidated sense of reality
infused with the melody of their inner rythm
lay next to the sweaty clothes on the floor
they hurried with each other, stopped
and melted within
this inferno met levels of fahrenheit
never before met

she let the cloud of guilt sweep over
like raiment it fed her conscience
and there she looked up and asked him
"do you love me?"
he smiled and said
"love is a strong word"
as strong as the force you exerted during that exchange?"
she asked herself

responsive were her brain cells
she could tell she would soon be swimming in
deep waters, hopefully they would be cold
because she was burning up with all of these emotions
and there she stood contemplating her actions
her reactions, in sequential order
"i think i may have a disorder
maybe i'm sick. in need of a professional
diagnose me doctor, i am in pain
and have no knowledge of how to refrain"
she told herself as the tears evaporated

Last week of school!

2008-05-07T06:01:00.000-07:00

I'm at school early because I thought my first class started at 7:30 instead of 8:30 but...I was wrong. Whew! So one more exam to go and then I can let my hair down. Right about now I'm praising God for my B in Physics! I don't know how he created that miracle, I'm not gonna try to understand but I just know God has favor on his people because....I failed my final. I wasn't supposed to make a B in the class. Thank you Jesus! WHEWWW! Anyways...

I am really excited about my 2 week evacuation from occupation coming up in 2 days! Yup I'm going on vacation! My Panama City Spring Break never happened so I'm gonna indulge in this trip. Completely forget about my stresses though it will be hard! I'll be visiting Canada! And Colorado! And Oregon! All with my parents...y'all pray that I won't wanna kill them at the end of the 2 week trip! And they won't wanna strangle me! lol. I just wanna have a peacable 2 weeks. I will update with pictures and videos of the trip. I still need to buy an ipod charger and another battery for my camera. Alright I'm bout to get on so I can get to class!

let me be famous

2008-02-04T19:54:00.000-08:00

for TWO seconds. People would be like...who is this Victoria chic, where'd she come from? Texas? Where's her horse? What DOES she even do? LOL. We live in a world that cares more about Britney Spear's mental breakdown than the crises of our youth, the downfall of this nation, the rise in population, but no rise in education. So let me take Britney Spears' place for a day.

What? This girl woke up, took a shower, with DOVE soap and went to SCHOOL? Who does that? She filled up her OWN tank of gas. I meaaannnn. REALLY-she's so...NORMAL! She even went to church on Sunday, like who does that anymore!!!! Eck. Where's her baby daddy drama, why ain't she somewhere getting wasted wit her drawls bwtween her knees. I mean she could atleast be somewhere like...SHOPPING! Where's Britney!!! MORE BRITNEY! End of my 2 seconds of fame lol. It was fun while it lasted yo.

Oh man, so I did a normal thing today and went to class. And..my teacher yelled at me...embarassed me in front the whole class...we were doing blind contour drawings and you can't look at them (of course that's why it's called "blind" contour) and my teacher gos, "Victoria" in this matter-of-factly tone. I look up because I was intensely in the zone, (I was flipping the page). "What are you doing?" "About to start on my fourth blind contour drawing..." "-You've been flipping through your pages this whole time, I've been watching you." Ok I don't about you, but this freaked me out. Is this not scary. I knew he was watching me too....you know how you can FEEL someone staring at you? Yah. So in my head I was like I know you were...wierdo. But I didn't say that out loud of course. "But...I was just about to star-" "You've been looking at your drawings this whole time." "No. I was turning the page, I've done three drawings, I'm about start the fourth one." "Then start it!" ---WOAH did he just raise his voice at me in front of the entire class?

So how did I handle this situation? I could have A.) gotten loud right back and said, "Uh excuse me but you got things twisted up in here. Ain't nobody breaking the holy blind contour rules!" But no, as classy of a young lady as I am, I persisted to work on my fourth beautiful drawing, WITHOUT looking at the drawing as I did earlier. I'm thinking I'm going to write him-A LETTER. Because I mean really that was just uncalled for. Jerk.

So like gay windows vista messed up my computer. I had to run a system recovery...and I thought I already had a backup, but in the back of my head I didn't realize I NEEDED a back up. So everything's gone. Pictures. Videos. Music. Documents. And my precious Photoshop. Is gone. I'm liable to start crying. SO, Frosty's myspace...will not be getting done any time soon. Damn. I was gettin there too. Everything's gone. :( I HATE TECHNOLOGY!!!! Not really, I actually love my ipod. and my cell phone. TV's pretty cool too. Oh. and calculators, thank God for those.

January 14th-school. :(

2008-01-14T09:21:00.001-08:00

It's a dog's world

2008-01-11T15:16:00.000-08:00

Still up...PICTURES!

2008-01-09T23:54:00.000-08:00

I ♥ my iPod! Can you tell? AHHHH. G'night!

Video update

2008-01-09T19:54:00.000-08:00

4.0 PLEASE!

2008-01-09T16:09:00.001-08:00

What, what! We got a scholar in the house! Because I slacked off so much last year, I'm trying harder to make good grades, so I decided to take history in a minimester so I could hurry up and get it out the way, and today was the last day. I got a kick out of this class like for real. My teacher was freaking crazy! He made the class fun, and guess who got an A? Yours truly! I'm really praising God because He did that for me. He's doing that a lot lately...having favor on me (He got me out of a parking ticket, got paid at work for something I didn't expect to). So hopefully my next history class will be as successfull. I'm takin 13 hours this semester and working, so I'll be a busy woman, but that's the way I like it!

Here's some pictures of my dog, she's a Yoranian, isn't she adorable!

What else have I been up to...oh at work I'm starting to get more responsibility, like now I have to answer calls if need be and book appointments...which in turn means more hours when I need them, more hours + more money = me happy! lol.

So did you gays catch Bad Girls Club last night? Aight then click on the link and watch it...right now. Ok Tanisha got some issues. SHUT UP B! GOSH! I know you from Brooklyn! "Yo! I'm from Brooklyn son!" Ok...You ain't gotta tell me twice. And if you tell Cordelia to "Pop Off" One mo' gin, I'ma pull out that weave and...sell that mess on ebay! Why they perform a exorcist on Cordelia, they shoulda been struck. Lord. And lol at Cordelia jumpin back into her fiance's arms, too bad he dropped her. Can't make a ho into a house wife homie. smh. I feel sorry for him, she embarassin him up on TV going to the club and pullin off her ring! She got some nerve! Girls, I swear, glad I'm not one. LOL.

Ah so guess what! I'm gettin my braces off in like less than two months! I'm heck of excited. I had to live 18 pain stricken years of self conscienceness, now I'm gonna be like 3000 and one percent fly. I'm just playin, but I AM excited, yay me! Mk Well I better go do something more productive with my life.

I hate Neyo's head, but...

2008-01-08T19:42:00.001-08:00

I like this video!

Bad Girls Club

2008-01-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

This is me and my homie's guilty pleasure. This show is SOO funny/ entertaining!!! hahaha, Watch it! It's coming on tomorrow at like...9 on Oxygen...I know...dudes don't be watchin all them sentimental TV stations, but this is an acception, just watch it once, it's SOO funny!!!

You write?

2008-01-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

Yes! I love to write! I wrote this the other day...just a lil sunthin sunthin, just some metaphors for your mind.

I'm an ellipses
A continuation to my past
And a pearl in the making, I hope you get this
See I'm the water washing clean
On a journey forging through to the unseen
I cling to the never seen in life, not maybe, or what if
And if you're really listenin to this
This just in, I'm a matter of fact
Breathing in an evovling habitat
Keep you enthralled like look who's back!
I'm the wind in the trees, blowing through autumn leaves
Showing you that change is come and
Ushering the new spring
After I leave my legacy
I wanna be seen as a history
With pages so thick you won't wanna read
Dip into my reservoirs running hot like God's twinkling stars
I reach those stars like the gleam of light
In your eye after a long day's night
You shut your eyes and dream the sight
Of me the ellipses
Ever changing
Still sustaining, though i thought I'd reached my might
And if y'all still listenin...
I'm like the mountains in the canyon, red soil not abandoned
Nurtured by nature lovers and mothers of the earth
I give birth to hope and love
Fit me like a glove when i first tried it on
Helps me to sing my song
Of the always growing never slowing down,
Cuz the clocks don't
And so If I still have your attention...
Will you take this as a form of question
Rhetorical, never mind your answer or suggestion
But are you an ellipses?
I'm still worried bout me, but won't forget about my brothers and sisters
Keep living your dreams and make them realities
Because you are the star, the red soil, the gleam in your eye is still there
Never fear what tomorrow brings
Just bring your A-Game, B
See, casually I used to reside in subsistence
Hide in my existence, didn't mention my attention to detail
Never prevailed, but excelled at being afraid of who I was
Definition of church mouse, never got out, stayed in the house
And kept one hand over my mouth, so I could listen to the wise
Grow from their lies, and wish I could be just like em
All the while not knowing what I had growing inside
Knowledge I never tapped into,
Never looking in my rear view and learning from that back there...
So um if you care to take my words into consideration
This is my proclomation to be an ellipses
And I ain't ever stoppin...
Till the casket drops. Ya dig?

A beautiful day!

2008-01-07T20:06:00.001-08:00

If you were in my shoes today, my bongo jeans and my t-shirt, you would have been elated. My day was magical. The weather was absolute bliss for January....tell me why it was sunny skies, with wind that blew all up and through my half combed hair. After work I just let the windows down in the camry and blasted that Jimmy Eat World!!! The world was my oyster today!!!!

Ahhh...so, these dang on elections, I've started to see my dad's point of view on politics through the inquiries of the last weekend. My white, persian and black friend all proved their points yesterday about politics and state. I'm not gonna get too detailed but basically my dad's a black Republican because of the moral issues. God knows I try to be a moral person, but by no means am I perfect...nobody is. But anyways...I saw why he completely omits democratic opinion, and when sharing that with my friends, they all said the same thing. Religion and politics do not mix. My father say--so not true! God is the founder of politics...they say [friends], you cannot force your beliefs on other people and not everyone is the same. Which is why God created free will and the freedom to believe in whatever the ever you wanna believe in. I understand it now! Thanks Angela! So...I'm still not sure who I'm voting for but...I'm gettin my candidates together.

So I'm excited about Panama City this Spring Break! I've only been on vacation without my parents like twice...and one doesn't really count because it was...camp with my fifth grade class...lol. WHOO! Bikinis, beaches, and blistering sunshine, here we commeee!!!

I got some pictures for your viewing pleasure. Smile for me baby! Loves and hugs all over.
-VEE